Obviously, it’s not actually Groundhog Day. I’m a bit late on that if we want to be technical. But I’m feeling like it’s Groundhog Day in the movie sense, in that we’ve gotten to the end of February and here I am repeating last February, struggling to motivate again after a productive period. I’m coming to accept that this is just what life is like. February has always been my least favourite month, so it stands to reason that it’s going to be a rough for my writing too.
Finding a blog topic every week this month has been difficult. Every Sunday has been me sitting down at the keyboard and saying “Now what?” There’s been an increasing number of mornings that I’ve struggled to get my editing started, or have made excuses to not do it at all. I haven’t even been trying to lie to myself that I’ll get to the Saturday meetings, I just sleep in.
Even with the February shadow hanging over me, I’m trying to remember the positive things. I’ve managed to find a blog topic every Sunday despite the struggles. I could very easily have just let it go, taken a week off and ignored it. I’m not accountable to anyone but myself here. But I did write something every week, so victory is mine.
And while I’ve done worse this month than I did in January on quantity of editing done, I’ve still logged editing on more than half the days of February. Even better, I’ve exceeded my target word count on most of those days. The month isn’t even over yet, I’ve got several days left to bump up that word count some more. I’m certain I’ve done better than I did at this time last year.
March promises better things too. I have a weekend retreat to buckle down and focus for three days on my writing, amidst the wonderful company of my peers. I also have a week off after that so I can use the motivation I’ll gain from that event on writing and not on my job.
These slumps used to be really scary for me. I had no confidence that I’d come out of them, because history showed that I would just abandon my writing for years after brief bursts of productivity. I can’t say the slumps aren’t scary at all anymore; that would be a lie and I try not to tell those here. They’re also frustrating and tiresome. But I’ve been going through, and coming out of, this cycle for a few years now and I’m starting to trust in the pattern. As the daylight waxes and wanes, so apparently does my energy and motivation. I trust the seasons to change and the sun to return, and so I must have faith in my internal calendar. Like February, this too shall pass. See you in March.
